Um, people... where should I start? I have so much to tell. And this is not all about the picture... it's kind of... private? But I feel the need to share with someone, because talking to my diary doesn't feel like anyone who listens to me at all XD So just ignore if you don't want to hear anything, otherwise thanks for caring ♥

I'm feeling really shitty today, and that because of many reasons. I really needed to draw something that makes me happy, but for two weeks I'm totally running out of creativity. I can't draw properly and the ideas are... dumb? I think the death of a dear friend hit me more than I want to admit. It's not like I cry the whole time, no - it's just the complete opposite. I could just cry a few tears, and that's it. But now I feel depressed, not creative and very weak, numb, lost. Especially today. I'm glad I have work now, although I'm totally exhausted from every day work, but I'm really glad to have something to concentrate on and not think about the friend. And today I was looking forward to be distracted by friends, but now they had no time. Ugh. And I'm sitting lonely at home and just need someone who gives me a hug or stuff. I really need one. Someone is interested? T_T Therefore I decided to draw Applejack and Rainbow Dash, just to find the rythm of my pencil again and have something that cheers me up. It became that Eskimo kiss. And Rainbow Dash doesn't want to admit she likes it, and Applejack knows and is just like - "Aaaw. C'mon. Don't behave like that." Dash. You little bitch. This is NOT the uncoolest thing ever. I like the idea the two are getting very intimate someday, that great friendshipt, relationship, whatever. They really love each other, but far, far above the normal relationship, with feelings that compare with friendship, but somehow more than just that. I can't explain it. It's just beautiful to me and gives me so much. And especially Applejack. She is so strong, honest, she loves herself and is selfconfident, she never lies, she always cheers the others up and fights for everything she needs.

And maybe that's what my dead friend showed me again, everytime I think about her she shows me that. Be strong and fight for the things you want. Don't dream your life, live your dream. Never give up, even if you lost one time. Fight for your dreams - and never say never. Don't save the best for last. Live your life how you want, don't give a damn what others say, put every power and effort into everything you do. Enjoy your life - and don't doubt yourself too much. Thank you so much for this, my dear, you showed me again and again how important it is to enjoy oneself. *sigh* I miss you so much.

And the letter from my university still didn't arrive.
I'm going crazy, I swear. HOW LONG DOES THAT SHIT TAKE.

So people... enjoy again some random Appledash. I love the two. Give me some of your love.
I love you.
I need a hug.